peace_l0v3

Kamenashi Hayato; my son... my lover chapter VIII

Upon finding out his uncles are gay... and with each other..
And accidentally heard his supposedly tou-chan and uncle pi's conversation about him not being his son...
Lost in what he should feel, he ran out.
Should he feel happy? Sad?
Happy because now there is nothing that comes in between them, the bond of father and son.
Or sad, because the fact that he is not with his own father, and maybe the man doesn't want him, so he ended up In the care of the man he thought for 18 years as his father, but couldn't really accept him as one because of his feelings?

 

 He tried to contain his excitement, trying to whisper as soft as he could, so he won't startle this tiny new born in his arms.
 "Hi there little guy..."

 The newborn slightly twitch, and his little tongue peeks out to wet his little lips.

"I'm your daddy..."
 

"Jin, he's so beautifull."

Soft voices behind the cameras commented.

"He is, right, kaa-chan?"
Jin beamed, though he felt like bursting in tears, tears of happiness.
"Baby... grandma, grandpa, and uncle Reio are here."

"They want to see you, sweet heart..."

"He's so tiny..."
Reio came into view, and stood next to him.
"Hi, I'm your uncle."
 
Reio gave the baby's cheek a very gentle touch, as if he's afraid the newborn will banish into dust.

"Let me see my grandson."
Jin's mom asked for the baby, and Jin carefully transfer him to her arms.
"You look like your father, baby..."

"I think you will be more handsome than your dad and your uncle put together."
 
Both grandparents laughed. 

After both had a turn to hold him, Jin asked for the baby back.
 

"Hey..."
He whispered.
"Grow up soon, sweet heart..."
 
"I can't wait to take you to soccer games, wear father-and-son matching yukatas to festival or on father's day..." 

"I can't wait for you to talk and call me "dad"... "daddy..." or "tou-san" whatever you prefer." 

He broke down and cried. 

"Jin...?"
His mom laid a hand on his shoulder.
 

"Kaa-chan..."
He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
"Is it wrong for me to want Kazuya to be here?" 

"I know I don't have the right to say such things like that, but kaa-chan..." 

He looked away, not wanting to let more of the tears to drop on the baby's blanket. 

"I don't expect him to forgive me, I just don't want him to hate him..."
Jin cried.
"He's so innocent, he doesn't know anything..." 

He couldn't even continue anymore as tears kept on falling down his tired handsome face. 

"Jin..." 

"I love him so much, kaa-chan."
He buried his face in his mother's arms.
"I love Kazu so much but I can't... I can't let her abort him." 

"I can't do that, kaa-chan..." 

"I couldn't let her do it then, and I wouldn't do it now even if I am given the opportunity to turn back the hands of time." 

"I can't... I won't let her... but Kazu..."
 
"Kazuya-kun asked you to tell Ayumi to abort the baby?"
She frowned. 

"No."
He shook his head frantically.
"Kazu isn't like that." 

"My Kazu is nothing like that."

Jin shook his head frantically. 

"These are no one's fault but mine, kaa-chan."
He wiped the tears on his face with his sleeves, and took a deep breath before continuing.
"Kazuya's not wrong for walking out, nor is this child... my son..." 

Quitely, Jin started crying again, biting his lips to muffle his cries as he holds the new born in his arms. 

"Ne, Jin..."
His dad pats his head.
"What is the name of our grandchild?" 

"Oh, right..."
Reio came into view again.
"What is my nephew's name?" 

Jin chuckled a bit as his mom wipes his tears with her handkerchief. 

"His name is Hayato." 

"Hayato?"
 
"Hn... Hayato."
Jin nodded, smiling to the other three, and at the newborn in his arms.
"Hayato." 

"Aniki..."
Reio said softly.
"I don't know if this is the right time to ask or point or whatever..."

"But... why name him after..."
 
"After my character in Gokusen two?"
Jin smiled a little.
 
"Yeah..." 

Both their parents looked at Jin, wanting to know as well. 

"Because I hope he grows up like that Hayato."
He smiled softly.
"I hope this little guy will grow up like Yabuki Hayato." 

"Eh?"
His mom frowned. 

"Well, I don't mean him following his delinquent-ness, everyone."
He chuckled.
"Just... everything of Yabuki's great personality." 

"Yabuki Hayato is loyal to his friend."
He started.
"He obviously values his friends and family even though he doesn't show it much." 

"He forgave his bestfriend Odagiri Ryu easily even though what Ryu did was a stab in the back..."
Jin shifts his hold on his son a bit, and sat down on one of the couch in the room.
"Of course I hope he is smarter than Yabuki and me." 

He forced out a happy grin to flash it to his parents and brother. 

"I hope my Hayato would at least have that Yabuki Hayato's characteristics."
He closed his eyes.
"To later forgive his dad, or Kazu..." 

"Forgive Kazuya nii-chan?"
Reio frowned.
"Why?" 

"Well, I don't know what the future will hold, Reio."
Jin smiled looking to his baby brother.
"I don't know what my son will think of me, or Kazuya, or everyone of us when he's older, when he understands everything." 

"I don't know if he'll just shrug his shoulders and move on with life as it is, or will he feel betrayed or some sort like that when he knows all of these." 

"I just hope he forgives his father, for bringing him into this world in this condition."
He looked at the baby lovingly.
"I don't know what the future holds but, I know that he will grow into a fine man." 

"He will be the better man compare to his dad..."
Jin smiled bitterly.
"And he won't treat the one he loves the way I treated mine."
 
"He will grow up, and live with the one he loves, and he will cherish that person, and hope he won't be the cause of those tears that will fall out of his love one's eyes. He won't leave that love one for his own unexplained selfish reasons, he will always be there, to hold his love one's hand, and assure that person that he is there." 

He shifts his hold on his son again, and lay him carefully on his laps.

"Hayato..."
He called him lovingly.
"Gomen ne?" 

"Forgive tou-chan, okay son?" 

"Tou-chan is not an example to follow, nor one to look up to." 

"But, tou-chan loves you... I love you so much, son..."
Jin buried his face on the baby's blanket.
"I'm not worried about you one bit, baby..." 

"For I know you will be greater than me, in so many ways." 

"I hope you don't follow my foot steps, son."
He whispered.
"I don't know what will happen later sweet heart, but always know that, no matter what happens later, I will always love you." 

"I love you, Hayato..."
 __________________

 

Kame hit the escape key on his laptop and clicks on here and there to delete the file.
He took out the cd from the hard drive only to break it into pieces and threw it into the bins.
After that, he slumped down, crying on his knees near the trash can, the broken pieces lying on the bottom of it.

He found the original tape on his trip back to Japan few years ago in Jin's room in the Akanishis' house hold.
Jin's parents always welcome him with open arms to spend nights or weeks in their humble abode.
And everytime he visits, he would always sleep in Jin's room.

He sold their apartment because it's just too painful to be there alone after all these years.
All the stuffs that he couldn't let go are either in his parent's house, or in Jin's.
When he visits, he would watch tapes of them together, or of KAT-TUN.

Most of the time alone, but sometimes, T-TUN and Pi invites themselves to spend the night and watch it together till they called it a night.

When he wanted to pull out Jin's favorite shirt, he found the tape on top of Jin's hats collections.
He popped it in, and when Jin's mom wanted to call him that dinner is ready, she found him crying hysterically while hugging the shirt, calling for his lover's name, and even refused to let go or get out of the room.
Jin's mom cried along for she thought that he might have gone crazy.

He refused to go back to New York.
Kame lied on Jin's bed, the bed that they used to share together when he spent the night in the older one's house because he would be too tired to even go to his own house even though it's only three blocks away.
The bed where Jin held him for the first time, where they shared their messy first kiss, and where they shared their first times together.

Their first time when Jin's parents went away for a relative's wedding in the country side, and Jin thanking them for taking Reio along.

He didn't want to get out of there, he'll stay in the room, where he feels Jin the most.

And he wouldn't return back to New York untill a certain teen called him.
The teen's voice laced with worry, fear, and sadness, asking him why is he not homeyet.

"Tou-chan, did your business got extended?"
"When will you be home, tou-chan?"
"I want to go home too, I don't want to stay with Jay for too long..."

That same night, with a heavy heart, he left Jin's room, left Japan to go back to his- THEIR son.

When he got to Jay's house to pick him up, it was already 2 in the morning.
He thanked Jay's family for being so rich that they have live in maids and nannies, so they opened the door, and that he doesn't have to bother Jay's parents.

He brought Hayato to his embrace the first thing he saw him.
The boy was surprised at first but let out a happy squeal that he's there.

As tired as he was for lacking sleep, and just got out of a 13 hours of flight, he carried his son in his arms.

He made a copy of the tape on another visit, and never watched it till now.

It was taped few days after Haya was born.
Looking at the date on the bottom of the screen, it was the day that his lover came to him, trying to talk to him.
He left the older man there, and with a cold stare, he told him he had enough of it all.

Without another glance, not even bother to listen to what the older man had to say, he walked away from him.
The same thing he did on the day he told him the first time about his rendezvous with her.

And that same day, was the last he will ever see and hear from the older man.
The Last day he would ever see and hear his lover...

"I should've stayed..."
Kame picks up the pieces from the bottom of the bin, and held it in between his hands.
"I am the one to blame, baby... not you..."

"I'm such a fool..."

He would always regret that day.

He regret on walking out on the older man that day.

"I'm sorry, love..."

He doesn't even know why he was watching it again to begin with.
Maybe it's the fact that T-TUN and Pi are visiting at the moment.
Him being around them brings back those memories together with Jin.
All memories from the sweet to painful ones.

He doesn't even know the difference between happy and sad memories anymore.
For both brings him to tears everytime he recalls them.

Memories of him and Jin laughing together, of them two sharing sweet moments during concerts, reasoning it for just fan services, but only those who are close to them know the meaning of those glances or the so called "fan services" are their silent "I love yous" for one another.

Memories of them in their chibi days, of them and their first date, their first proper kiss, the first time they did it...

Then, there are memories of the six of them, getting into all sorts of troubles together, pulling successful pranks on fellow johnnies and senpai, fighting against each other, hard punches and kicks thrown at one another, and those would send them straight to the old man Johnny himself, and they would all be scolded severely.
But at the end of the day... they'd poke each other's bruises, knowing that it hurts, and tilt their heads back as they laughed it off.
And they would even scream in pain because their stomach hurts for laughing too much as they recalled their silly fights over spilled cream, or "I'm a better dancer than you are", or "I can sing better", or the silliest of all... "My boyfriend is sexier than yours" fight.

Something so stupid, that turned them into angry bulls, seeing red, then after a few hours, would bring them laughters, and they'd end up at Ueda's house for sleep overs or some kareoke place to sing silly songs, or just some random yakiniku place to eat.

To everyone else, these types of memories would put smiles on their lips.

To him, however, it will bring him to his knees, and Kame would break down and cry.

He is so greatful of them, but at the same time, when he looks at them, it feels like images of Jin is lingering around.
It was like KAT-TUN all over again.
Plus Pi, of course.

It breaks his heart then whenever they visit, and when they took pictures together, and he isn't in it, it felt as if a big chunk of puzzle was missing.

Yet now...
As he stares at a recent picture they took while they're sitting on the freshly fallen snow in Aspen Colorado, for some snowboarding and skiing trip, suddenly that big chunk of puzzle, is no longer missing.

It's been found, replaced.

It isn't the original piece, but they look the same.
But...
Is it fair to that piece of puzzle to replace the original one?
Is it fair for that puzzle itself to not know the truth?

He told himself that he'll tell him, he'll tell their son about everything.
Yet, as Hayato gets older, his tongue tied itself, and it would bring him to tears to the thoughts of it alone.

Is it best for him not knowing?
Will he forgive him for not telling their son the truth?

Kame smiled bitterly, fate must've been laughing right now.
It's amusing, really.
One heck of a great drama.

His lover's gone, and fate, knowing that his love for him is strong, and he isn't one to just move on to another person just like that, fate made his son, to look like his dad.
His lover's exact copy.

They say each person in this world have at least someone that looks like them.
But this?
Kame thinks that this is a freak of nature.

A freak of nature caused by Fate or Destiny...
And life, because he has to live and go through with this.

Fate... Destiny... or Life... whichever, they're all the same to him.
Whichever it is, either it loves him or really hates him for they all work together, and make his life a living hell.
He doesn't know what he did to deserve all these.

He hates them.
Who he hates most, however is none of them.
Because the person he hates most is himself.

For thinking from time to time, most of the time, that the teen is him.
That the teen is his father instead.

Thinking of Haya as Jin, just to ease his aching heart.
Just to heal his wound even just for a moment.

Randomly embraces the teen, and when the younger one would ask sometimes, he reasoned that when he gets older, he will be too embarrased to be hugged by an old man later.
Or simply going in to the teen's room at night, and hold him while he sleeps.

And all those times, he would think of his dad, he would see him as his dad.
As Jin, and only Jin, always Jin.
He is embracing his lover... Jin.

Not his son, Hayato.

 ***
 

Hayato purposely let his bottom fall on the snowy ground, and detach his snowboard from his feet.
Then he took off the goggles, and sigh in content at the scenery in front of him.
Nothing but snow and big chunk of pine trees covered in snow.

So quite, and the only noise he hear are those people, mainly couples, trying to keep up with each other as they skii or board down the small hill.

It's the day after christmas, and he thought at least he won't see much couples around, but he was proven wrong when he walked to the hotel lobby, all he could see are couples snuggling with each other, holding hands, and kissing here and there.

Call him cheesy, crazy, or freaky, but everytime he see them; which is in every corner he turns to, he will always imagine it's him and his object of affection.
His forbidden desire.

His own tou-chan.

He thought by suggesting for a get away to Colorado is a great idea for winter break, even with his uncles in tow was such a great idea, but then again, who would've thought that all the couples in that state, and US' other 49 states also thought the same.

As if Aspen is the only winter sports resort in the country.
Why couldn't these people go to Pennsilvania for it, or upstate New York?
And damn him for forgetting to ask Jay the key to his cabin in Aspen.

At least that way he didn't have to see the couples in the hotel room, knowing of what they'd do once he saw them closing the door.
 

Damn those couples around him.

It's just not fair...

And sometimes, he had the urge to damn his own uncles, or even punch them; especially uncle Pi, for they can so easily throw themselves at his tou-chan.
Uncle Koki sometimes glomped him out of no where, and calls him "Kame-chan..."

The damn uncle who talks so fast, stinkin'  rapper wanna be, even makes kissy faces with his tou-chan.
And damn it, why is his tou-chan laughing!!!
It's just encourage that uncle of his to go on for a while.

He's thankful of Yuichi ji-san because he would tell uncle Koki to stop, it's inapropriate for a man his age to act that way.

But uncle Pi...
He swore that one of these days, he should tell his three best friends that; should he one day go to jail, for an accusation of murder, don't even bother to hire the best lawyer in the country, even world, to bail him out for his finger prints would be all over the victim's body, uncle Pi, and evidences of him killing the victim would be so obvious that it doesn't need the highest rank Crime Scene Investigator or the best detective to solve the murder to prove that he's the killer.

But then again, since his bestfriend is Jay, he's sure the other would hire a hit man to do the job, and act as if nothing happens.

His uncle Pi is way too affectionate.
Sure, uncle Koki pisses him off as well.
But uncle Pi is just pushing it.

And what's with those stupid whiny tone of his calling his tou-chan "Shuuji"?!

"HIS NAME IS KAZUYA, DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He stood up and yelled to the direction ahead.
Successfully stopping a group of people, and they all looked at him.

"WHAT?!"

They were still staring at him.

"I WANT TO SEE IF I CAN CAUSE AN AVALANCHE, WANNA STAY AND SEE???!"

Surprisingly, they skii their way down the hill after they heard the teen said that.

"Idiots..."

He mumbled, plopping back down on the snow.

Yeah, damn his uncle Pi.

But he loves his uncle Koki and especially his uncle Tatsuya for calling him an idiot and pig whenever he behaves like that.
That's why he got his uncle Tatsuya the second most expensive gifts for Christmas.
His tou-chan got the first, most expensive gift, of course.

Then comes Yuichi ji-san, Junno ji-san, uncle Koki, and then uncle Pi is last.

With a last sigh, he put on his goggles, and attached himself back to the board, and snowboard down the hill, and wonder around before he really goes back up to the hotel.

If Jay were here next to him, he would deffinately be a big help to distract those bitches away from him, at least.
Either Jay wants to fuck them, or just plain flirt with them, doesn't matter.
What matters are, that they're not throwing themselves at him, and pestering on taking them back to his suite.

And one heck of a suite indeed.
His tou-chan and uncles just rent the presidential suite right before the heir of an oil tycoon walked in.
Those lonely girls just couldn't keep their hands on themselves.

And damn those bitches for flirting with him while his tou-chan is around.
What does the older man think of him now?
He hopes that he doesn't give him the wrong impression.

And what piss him off more, are the ones that comes with their boyfriends.
Once their men turned around, they'd glance at him, and threw him those sexy looks.

He closed the door to the suite, and found the living room empty, and all the bedroom's doors open except the one uncle Tatsuya and Junno ji-san shared together.
He figured they must've either gone to the hot springs, go for a skii again, or souvenir shopping.

He walked to the kitchen, and opened one of the water bottle.
Before he makes his way to his room, he saw his phone vibrated on the couch.
He picks it up, and read the text messages.

He shook his head as soon as he knows the sender.

"Damn Jay."

He walked to the veranda, stepped outside.
Leaning on the rail, he started texting with one hand, and occasionally takes gulps from the bottle with the other.

"Wait..."

Hayato looks up from his cellphone upon hearing the voices inside.

"Jun~"

He saw his Junno ji-san, clad only in boxers, and his upper body full of... hickeys?!

"Junno ji-san brought back some random girl back to our suite?"
The teen mumbled to himself.

The older man in the room didn't notice someone watching him, nor did he notice that the window to the veranda is open.

"Are you not cold like that?"

His Junno ji-san crossed his arms, a playful smile on his lips.

"Go back to bed, I'll just get something to drink and eat for us."

Haya hears a shuffle, and he thought that the random girl his ji-san brought home is walking up to him.
He felt like he should let them know that he's there.
Or maybe go further down to the other end of the veranda, and enter his tou-chan's room.

Yes, he thinks so too.
But before he could even make a turn, the other person, showed themself, or HIMself in his line of sight.

"Tat-chan..."
Junno bit his lips.
"This is almost as cold as Hokkaido, you know."

"I don't want you to get sick."

"Hnn..."
The older but shorter man walks his way towards the taller one, and wraps one of his arms around his neck, and the other clasping on the blanket that is hanging dangerously low on his toned waist.
"Then... you should warm me up again..."

"You know... body heat is best, and plus... bed room activities..."

Hayato couldn't even blink.

"Jun~"

Jun? All these times, I heard him say JUNNO... never this "JUN"

H-hey... what is uncle Tatsuya doing-

"Come on, baby...."

"Tat-chan..."
Junno moaned.
"We- we've had it for 3 times already..."

"Jun~ we've done it for 7 times before, didn't stop you for more then."

Hayato hated himself for understanding those things his uncles are saying to each other.

Damn why does he understand those of all the things.
Of all the previous convos they have, why does he have to fully understand these?

"We were in our twenties then."
Another moan from Junno.
"Tat-chan..."

"I'm... I'm 40, I don't have the same stamina..."

Haya's jaw could drop if he could at least move it, because his uncle Tatsuya's hand did not just disappear down  Junno ji-san's boxers.

"Jun.."
Ueda pants.
"I'm 42, and I think I can have another round or two."

Junno tilts his head back and moaned.

"Or three."
Ueda added.
"Jun... come on..."

"Ugh."

In one swift moment, the teen saw his tall uncle lifts his smaller uncle, blanket fall down on the floor.

"If you can't enjoy the rest of our vacation because you'll be limping the whole time we're here, don't blame me, love."

Oh, sure, he doesn't understand that, is it not perverted that his mind turned of his bilingual abilities?

"Do I need to beg for sex to my own lover?"
Ueda groaned in frustration.
"My own lover for more than 22 years."

Junno laughed.

"Let's go, hime."
He gave Ueda's butt a pinch and a slap, earning a satisfy groan from the man.
"I feel like eating a princess tonight."

He bent down to get the blanket and soon, the teen heard a door being shut.

 ....

It took him another 15 minutes to realize that he could move.
Haya walked back to the suite only to walk out from there, and escaped to one of the pool resorts in the hotel.

"EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

All the lifeguards in the area turned to the panting handsome guy.
He took off his clothes, down to his underwear, and dove in to the pool.
 

"No way, no way no way no way..."
He shook his head.
"No no no no no no no no no."

"My uncles are... they are not..."

"No, uncle Tatsuya is not seeing Junno ji-san."

"T-those hickeys, they could be from his one night stands..."

"Uncle Tatsuya's hand did not squeeze ji-san's cock-"

He felt slightly different all of a sudden.
Especially in between his thigh.

"No... the water makes me hard..."
He shook his head.
"Swimming makes a guy hard... right?"

"Riley fucks those girls after he finished practice, in the pool, because the water made him hard..."
He laughs nervously.
"I-I didn't imagine my self in Junno ji-san's place, and instead of uncle Tatsuya, it was Kazuya-san's hand slipping in, squeezing my-"

He slapped himself hard across his cheek, and dove in to the water.

"Hot, but... weird."
One of the lifeguard commented.

"Tourists."
The other rolled his eyes.

He accepted it so fast, and although it was shocking, and he wasn't wrong for being shock because he had to find that out that way.
But, he's okay with it.
They're his uncles either way, and they love him, and he loves them too.

But he didn't expect that his two other uncles are the same.
At least, he didn't find it out under the same circumstances.

He saw uncle Koki and Yuichi ji-san sitting on the hills he told them about.
And when he wanted to approach them, suddenly, his uncle wraps his arms around the older man's shoulder, brought him closer, and kissed the older man's temple.

Now, he knows they're all bestfriends.
Knew each other since they were little.
But...

Riley, Jay, Nick, and he knew each other from little as well.
He knew Jay since kindergarten, and the other two in junior high, 5th grade was it?
And they're all bestfriends ever since.

Surely... he never gave neither of the three a peck on their temple.
Or wrap his arms around them to bring them closer to him.
He never see them doing that to each other.

He never see Riley laid his head on Jay's shoulder, and call him with a tone full of affections.

That's just... creepy.

He turned around and nodded to himself.

Yeah...

His uncles are gay, and in relationships with one another.
That explains why Junno ji-san is always quick on his feet when uncle Tatsuya looks at him in a certain way.
And it explains why uncle Koki stops his kissy faces and glomps when Yuichi ji-san gave him a small warnings.

He isn't mad at any of them.
Rather, he envies them.

He wishes he could be like that with him.
Why did he have to be born as his son?
Not as a friend, and later work his way as his lover?

Hayato stopped from walking further, and a single thought hit him.

"Does that mean... he's gay as well?"

"And uncle Pi too?"

In the end, he decided he doesn't know anything.
Pretending like nothing happened, and he didn't see anything.
Of course, he can't look at both his uncle Tatsuya and Junno ji-chan in the eyes as of yet.


 

But when he glanced at the couple on the plane on their way back to New York, he saw Junno ji-chan wrapped the blanket around uncle Tatsuya's body, making sure that the older one is not cold, he couldn't help but smile.

And when he looks at the other seat, his uncle Koki and Yuichi ji-san, how they share a happy laugh together, and his uncle Koki throwing those loving looks at the older man...

Hayato couldn't help but smile and wish, he can be like them.

It's not like he's mad at them for keeping all these from him.
And in a way, he understands why they're hush hush about the matter.
They're not telling him because they were afraid of what he would think of them.

He envies them, above all.
Wish he could be like them.

But, as his tou-chan's head gracefully falls down on his right shoulder, the older man wonders off to dreamland, he couldn't help but smile wider.

For now... he thinks it's okay being like this.
But only for now...
Because each day, the feelings for the other, grows bigger and stronger.

"KAMENASHI!"

"Wh-OW!"
The teen roared.
"WHO THE FUCK THREW THAT?!"

"I did!"
Jay glared at him.
"Look, captain, if you don't feel like it, why not call it a day?"

"Do us all a favor, if the captain himself isn't concentrating, what's the point in practice?"
He sighed.
"Take it from your right hand man."

He was growling, but he knows his co-captain/bestfriend is right.
The captain, which is him, needs to call it a day if he himself isn't concentrating fully in the practice.
How can he, when all he thought after coming back to school from vacation was his object of affection?

And it didn't help that they're sharing room together because his room is occupied with his uncle Koki and Yuichi ji-chan.
Sighing, he called out the rest of his team and ordered them to go home.

"Okay... what's on your mind?"

Jay slammed his locker and leaned on it, waiting for his bestfriend to finish cleaning up.

"I'm just... tired."

"Ah... I see, you went to Colorado, while your dearest Kazumi is somewhere else?"
He grinned.
"One conclusion from your dearest bestfriend,"

"You need to get laid."

"Jay, don't even start with me."

He slammed the locker and headed out of there.

"HAYATO! You really do need to get laid, it'll do you and everyone of us on the team a favor tomorrow!!!"

All the girls in the parking lot scurried their way to Hayato's line of sight.
Throwing him their sexy glances, use their needy, sexy voice to lure him in.
And, even daring enough to flash him their chest in this cold weather.

He rolled his eyes and once he started his engine, he drove off.

After he parked his car, he made a pit stop at a small cafe, to get himself a cup of hot chocolate.
Sighing all the way up to his 23rd floor apartment.

"Tadai-"

He stopped short over what he saw through the living room veranda.

His eye candy, with his uncle Pi- AGAIN.
The hold on the door knob, which he hasn't released tightened.
He held himself from throwing the hot cup of coco to his own uncle.

 And what's worse, his uncle Pi is hugging his love from behind.


"Pi..."

He caught the older man's voice, as soft as it was, he could still hear it.

"It won't be fair..."

Fair?

"Hayato's old enough, Kame."

He heard his uncle's protest.

"I'm sure he'll understand."
Pi rest his head on the younger one's shoulder.
"I know he will understand all of these situations."

 "Of yours, mines, and the others."
Pi's hold on him tightened.
"Ne? Give me... give me a chance..."


What are they talking about?

The teen frowned, and slowly, trying to make no sound, moves closer to the veranda.


"I know he's my bestfriend, and with me doing this, you'd think i''m betraying him..."
Pi sighed.
"But... I think he wants you to move on, and be happy."

"And Kame, I can make you happy."


The teen frowned, trying to translate everything in his head.


"I am happy, Pi."


You're happy, tou-chan?


"And... I can't..."

Kame lets out a heavy sigh.

"I can't, Pi..."

"Why? Is it because the fact that I'm his bestfriend?"


Ah... I wish I have a translator around or something!!!


"Hn..."
Kame shook his head.
"That's not the main reason."

"Then, what is?"


When the teen saw his uncle released his hold and turning the other around to face him, Hayato went to the side, and hid behind the wall.


"Is it Hayato?"

Kame looked away, eyes glassy with tears.

"I still love him."

Pi let go of the younger one, and rest both his hands on his side.
Everytime, the other would refuse, and everytime, he would get his heart broken.

"I'm sorry, Pi..."

Yamapi nodded, forcing a smile.


"I guess Ryo-chan was always right, ne..."
He scoffed.
"But I'm just stubborn for always pushing it."

"Ryo-chan?"

"Before..."
Pi took a deep breath, hoping to steady his voice.
"Ryo-chan said, that it's useless."

"It's useless... to even get you."

Kame frowned.

"At the moment I thought, Ryo-chan wanted you for himself when both that baka and I are not paying attention."

Pi chuckled.


They're talking about uncle Ryo...?


"Ryo-chan was right then..."
He nodded.
"And he's right even now."

"It was useless, Kame, because you were never mine, nor Ryo-chan's to begin with."
He swallowed the lump in his throat.
"And that we would never stand against our own bestfriend, when it comes to you."

"But, Kame..."

Pi wiped the tears with the back of his hand roughly, and stare at the younger one.

"While Ryo-chan gave you up, while he admitted defeat..."
He stuttered.
"I couldn't bring myself to do the same."

"I know it's wrong, and he's my bestfriend, but damn it, Kame..."
He look away, letting his tears fall down freely.
"There are times where I really want to destroy him then..."

"I really want to steal you away from him."
He closed his eyes.
"For all those things he've done to you..."

"Any other person, they'd leave him right away, and guilty as charged, I was hoping you would."
He shook his head.
"Sorry, Kame..."

"I'm sorry I failed as a bestfriend to both you and him."


Tou-chan.... is crying...


Kame smiled a bit, wiping his tears, he nodded to the older man.

"I think you're a great friend."
He pats Pi's right shoulder.
"You're a great friend to both of us, because if you weren't, you'd abandoned Jin a long time ago, and manipulate him, and have your way with me."

Pi smiled, and that made both of them to chuckle a bit.

"I just..."
Pi took his hands in his, and look him straight in the eyes.
"I just want you to be happy."

"I am."
He smiled.
"I am happy, Pi."

"I have him... And Jin..."
A lone tear trailed down the pale cheek.
"Even as memories."

"I have Jin in my heart... and Haya here..."


Tou-chan.....


Kame looked down, and cried his heart out.

It hurts...

"With Haya here... he fullfills that empty space."
He sobs.
"Because Haya is here... I am happy."


The teen leaned on the wall, and closed his eyes.
He doesn't know what's going on out in the veranda, but with his love one crying like that...
With the older one crying like that, he felt as if his heart is torn into two.

He wanted to go out there, and grab the man, and embrace him tightly.

He doesn't know what they're saying, but he wants to go out there and just-


"Even though Hayato is not your son?"


Uncle Pi's voice is not loud, yet to him, it was as if the man was speaking into a microphone.


"Hayato. Aitsu wa, omae no musuko ja neen da yo..." > Hayato... he's not your son.
Pi said again.
"Honto ni omae shiawase ka, sono mama de?" > Are you really happy with that?


Hayato... aitsu wa, omae no musuko ja neen da yo...
Hayato... he's not your son...

Omae no musuko ja neen da yo...
Not your son...

Omae no musuoko ja neen da yo...
Not your son...

Ja neen da yo...
Ja neen da yo....

Not.....Yours...
He's NOT yours...


What.... 

At that moment, he dropped his duffel bag and the hot chocolate he was holding to. 

What....

He was panting...


"Hn?"
Pi turned around. 
"Sounds like someone dropped something..."

"Did Junno break another one of your cup..."

Pi chuckled a little at that.

Kame wiped his eyes, and took a deep breath, trying to look as if nothing happened. 

Both of them left the veranda, and went in to the living room. 



 
"Oh... what's up young man?"

Koki stepped out of the teen's room, and greeted the owner of the said room, who is leaning on the wall, face pale, and panting slightly.

"What's with that face? You look like you've seen a ghost outside in the cold."

"Koki, that doesn't make sense."

Ueda walked in to the living room as well.

"Haya."
Kame smiled.
"Okaeri."

"You're home early."
Maru pointed.
"Are you okay?"

The teen adverts his eyes to his uncles, and then to his tou-chan.

"You must be hungry, ne..."
Kame walked towards him, and pats his face.
"Tou-chan made some panini before, I'll re heat it for you now, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, your tou-chan's panini was so delicious!!!"
Junno pats his own tummy.
"Kame, I want one too please!

"Your tou-chan's a great cook, you kno-"

"He's not my tou-chan."

Kame stopped walking, and turned around.

"What do you mean, Haya...."

"You're not my tou-chan."
He stated.
"You're not my dad."

"Haya-"

"You're not my real father, right?"


"H-Haya..."

Kame slowly walked back to him.

"Ore..."
He took a deep breath, closing his eyes in the process.
"Boku wa... anata no musuko ja arimasen desu yo ne..." > I'm not your son, right?

"Hayato, you probably heard wrong."
Koki shook his head.
"This isn't the only time you're mistaken some-"

"Uncle Koki..."
He turned to the man.
"Boku wa chigaimasu yo." > I'm not wrong.

"Ne? I'm not wrong..."

"Haya... Haya, I-"

"Don't."
The teen shook his head.
"You don't need to explain, I understood that much."

"Hayato..."

Ueda stepped up.

"I know about you uncle Tatsuya."
He smiled sadly.
"Junno ji-san and you are in a relationship, ne?"

"And then same goes to uncle Koki and Yuichi ji-san."

The four was startled by their nephew's statement.
If this was other occasions, they could praise him for using correct Japanese in more than one sentence.
But this isn't one of those, so they kept quite.

"H-how did you..."

"I'm not mad."
He shook his head.
"I wish you guys could've told me yourselves."

"I know all of you are not my real uncles, but... I am your nephew after all, ne?"
He forced a smile.
"I'm not mad nor disgusted."

"As a matter of fact, I'm happy for you guys."
The teen took a deep breath, and let out a tired sigh.
"I wish I could have what you guys have someday."

He eyed his tou-chan.

The teen turned around, walking towards the door.

"Haya..."
Kame called out.
"Haya, I can explain."

"I know you can."

The teen said calmly, one hand opening the doorknob.

"Just... I don't really want to hear it."

And just like that... he walked out of there, closing the door behind him softly.

____****_____







In the end, he went to his bestfriend's place to crash for a moment.
He went back home around five in the morning.
The place is quite, he assumed the adults were already in bed.

He quitely made his way to the kitchen, and opened the fridge, in search for some drinks to quench his thirst.

He thought of what happened tonight... he didn't know why he walked out of the apartment.
Is he mad?
Is he upset?
Sad?
Happy?

He leaned in the fridge, and sighed for the millionth times.

"Haya..."

He turned to the source of the voice.

"Thank goodness you're okay."

The older man made his way to him, and embraced him.

"Hn..."

He returned the embrace immediately.

"Sorry, I walked out like that..."
He mumbled.
"I just..."

"I just don't know how to react..."

Kame released his hold around the teen, and looked up at him.

"Are you hungry?"

"No."
He shook his head.
"I'm... I'm going to bed."

"Oyasumi."

"Haya..."

He caught the teen's wrist.

"I'm still..."
He swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I'm still your tou-chan, sweet heart."

"It doesn't matter if you're biologically mine or not."
His hold tightened.
"You're my son... and I love you so mu-"

"You don't understand me at all, then."
He shook his head.
"You don't understand."

"Are you mad, sweet heart?"
Kame cups his cheek.

"I don't know."
He mumbled.
"Should I be?"

"No, you shouldn't, Haya."
Kame smiled.
"Because I love you. I love you as my own, so don't you worry about a-"

"Where's my real father?"

Kame's eyes widened.

"Did he chickened out and walked out on me?"

"Did he think that I would ruin him if I stick around?"
He released himself from the older man's hold.
"Did he not want me?"

"Haya... does it matter?"
Kame cried.
"I love you as if you're my own, and I will always love-"

"THEN YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL!!!"
He exclaimed.
"I know you love me as your son, but-"

"I hated him for putting me in to your care."

"What?!"
Kame frowned.

"My father."
He said the word sarcastically.
"Ne, I'm an unwanted child, right?"

"I'm a mistake he shouldn't have made, so he threw me aside, and then I ended up in your care."
He scoffed.
"Some bastard of a father I had, I'd love to see how he-"

A hand came accross the teen's face, shutting him in the process.

"..."
Hayato held his burning cheek.

"Oh my- Hayato..."

"Don't touch me."
He slapped the smaller man's hand away from him.
"Just answer me."

"That's enough!"
Kame grabbed the teen by his collar and forced the other to look him in the eyes.
"I'm your tou-chan!"

"No you're NOT."

"I AM!"
Kame spat.
Whether you like it or not, I am your father."

"I am not your-"

"Blood line or not!!!!! I am still your tou-chan!!!"
Kame growled.
"And you... you will respect me, like every other good sons."

"You have to respect me, like the good son you should be."
He glared at him.
"I raised you, and I won't tolerate with-"

"I don't see you as my father."
He whispered.
"Never see you as one then, don't see you as one now."

Kame gasped, his heart shattered right there and then.
One by one, tears started falling down his beautiful, barely wrinkly face.

Kazuya...

"I failed..."
Kame wiped his tears frantically.
"Sorry you feel that way, son."

The teen looked at the other dumb foundedly.

"I-I've treat you as my own."
Kame sniffed.
"I didn't care if you were mine or not."

He bit his lips, forcing himself to stop crying.
But he gave up, and just let it all out in front of the teen.

"Your... tou-san, ne..."
He smiled through the tears.
"Wasn't that type of man you assumed."

"He was not like that, Haya..."

Kame shook his head slowly, wiping his tears with his sleeves.

"Your dad..."
Kame sobbed.
"He..."

"He and I..."

"..."



***********

Minna-san....Hello everybody... *gulps*
I know it's taking so long, and this sucks, and I'm not really satisfied on the last part *pouts*
I don't know what I'm thinking, but... I hope this works.
To everyone who reads this... THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
You guys are so nice!!! And I never mind the pokes, pokes are love from you guys!!! *hugs*
It just encourage me more, and it tells me that you want to read it! :)
I'm still a newbie, and thank you so much for going easy on me... *huggss tight*

(SUMMER TIME!!!! WUAH!!! I want to read LOTS of fics by all those wonderful authors in the community!!! I can't wait to flail about AKAME-ness!!!!!! *their rabu rabu makes me go fluffy & tingly inside... I can't wait!!!)

But anyways....

Chappie 9... is pick up from the last line.
Will Kame tell Haya about Jin?
And what will happen?
Is Haya upset?
Why did he run away?

*hey, I should run away too, right?* *gulps*

Once again, everyone, thank you so much!!! *hugs*
I'll do better and do my best on chappie 9 (GANBARIMASU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Please, don't hesitate to pin point anything. :)
And... as always, comments are always LOVE!!!

thanks again!!!!

*leaves mountains of cupcakes behind* (is now hiding in a shell)

"Hayato...?"
Kame said softly.

"AH! Hai, let's go."
Hayato blinked and walked to the car.

Their hands still entwined till he had to let it go when Kame took the passanger's seat and he the driver's.

He's not like that...
Hayato tightened his grip on the streering wheel.
He loves her... I know he does... He still loves her after all
He pressed the gas a little more.
Why else won't he get married after all these years, Hayato?

He's Jin's son...
Kame looked out the window.
He's your son too
He closed his eyes.
He is not Jin...
A single tear drop trailed down his beautiful pale cheek.

Jin's gone

________

"Hayato, I'm going to bed early, okay?"
Kame smiled.

"Hai..."
He nodded, as he flipped the channel, busying himself, trying to resist from looking at the older man.

"Inside the luggage is all for you from me, and your uncles."
Kame smiled.
"Enjoy, okay?"

"Okay!"
He looked at him briefly and went back to flipping the channel.
"Tou-chan, oyasumi!"

Kame chuckled and shook his head.
"Oyasumi, Hayato."

And then he entered his room.

Hayato stare blankly at the tv, and looked at the closed door.
Slowly, he got up and walked towards it.
He touched the cold white surface of the door, his hand trailing down slowly.

Why...?
He closed his eyes and rest his forehead on the door.
Kazuya wa... ore no... otou-san...

Kame walked to the room that is connected to his.
His office room, where he does all his work at home when there's too much at the office.

He walked to the cabinet and unlocked it.
Inside are the stuffs he locked away.
Memories of what he, Jin, and their friends used to have.

He framed the most memorable pictures, and put the rest neatly into an album, and stacked within the many albums in there.

Kame smiled as his finger tips browsed its way through KAT-TUN's singles and albums.

He saw some of the frame pictures of him and his lover, friends, and KAT-TUN.
Koki gave everyone the frame that has all their initials around it.
The gangsta designed it himself after Jin came back from his hiatus.

Despite his appearance, Koki is really caring about the group like his older boyfriend.
So he desgined the metal frame, with their initials on it all over, with different colors.
Looks like something you would give to an early teen for a christmas present, but, Kame really liked it.
They all did.

He smiled at the picture.
When the others put their recent pictures at the time, Kame didn't.
He raid his closet and searched for their chibi pictures.

There was an onsen trip he could never forget that the six of them took.

They were really young.

The picture was silly, but it was the six of them in the onsen, taking their bath, but they lined up and was washing each other's backs.
They've got some soaps and bubbles on their bodies.
Sitting on a bucket and little towels are the only materials that covers their private parts.

 

They were all laughing so hard at the time.
When the camera snapped the moment, all their mouths hanging.
But the photographers liked it, it was natural, and it showed that they're enjoying their silly times.

It wasn't on the order of KAT-TUN since Jin's up front, then him, Nakamaru, Taguchi, Ueda, Tanaka.
But the AK is still next to each other.
He smiled.

He took out the framed picture of Ryu and Hayato and he took a seat on his chair.

Kame leaned in and take the frame that placed on the corner of his desk.
Him and Hayato.

Two Hayatos, in different frame.

Different time.

Different person.

Yet....

If one would see both frame, they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the two people on one frame wearing the school uniform, and the other frame with the same people, one holding a brithday cake for the smaller one.

It's the same people.
Only different outfits and settings.

Kame too wants it to be that way.
That the two frames in his hands, are the same Hayato, his lover portrayed.
Hayato, the fictional character along side his friend, Ryu, who he once portrayed.
The two Hayatos would be the same.

The two Hayatos should be the same person.
Jin, his lover.

He shook his head and put the picture of him and Hayato back into its original place on the table.

"Why did you leave me..."
He caressed the picture.
"Jin...."

"I love you..."
He whispered.
"I miss you so... much."

His tears stained the glass.

He cried himself to sleep like he sometimes would when it's just too much for him.

18 years it had been.
He thought with him he'll be fine, and he'll stand strong, with him by his side.
And that he'd raise him just like the way they originally planned.

What he thought was hallucinations at first, is actually real.
No one believed it, but when they saw it with their own eyes, all they could do is look at him sympathetically.

He loves him dearly and yet...
The more he loves him, the more his heart aches.

*****************next chappie_little_sneak peak*****************

Kame rest his chin on his son's shoulder.
Hayato kept his strong but gentle grip on the older man's thigh, making sure he won't slip off and fall.

"Tou-chan,"

Kame heard the soft laugh.

He waited for his son to finish, but he knew why he couldn't.

"You can mix it up, Hayato, just don't get use to it, okay?."
He sighed.

Hayato nodded.

"Tou-chan... was she taller than you?"
He said softly.

"Hn?"
Kame frowned.

"You know... the woman who gave birth to me?"
Hayato mixed both Japanese and English.

Kame laughed.
"That sounds so weird."

Hayato laughed along.

"No."
Kame said after sometime.
"No, she isn't."

"Tou-chan..."

"Nn..."

Hayato took a deep breath.

"Did you... do you... love her?"

His heart pounded in his chest.
And he's sure the older man could hear it.
He just waited for the answer, whether it's something he wants to hear or not.

"Tou-chan...?"
He stopped walking and turned his head back, looking for the older man.

He smiled.
"Oyasumi nasai, tou-chan..."

Hayato continued to walk back home.

Somehow, he felt happy.
His heart was pounding, but now... he felt just light, and contended.

He softly hums a tune that suddenly pops into his head.

... MY ANGEL, YOU ARE ANGEL... ITSUMO SOBA NI IRU YO...

He frowned.

"Huh... where's that song come from?"

He shrugged and continued to hum the song as it comes naturally.
Softly singing parts of the words, and if he's stuck, he would just hums it out as if it's natural.

...IMA KONO UTA GA... YAKUSOKU BOKU TACHI NO KIBOU....

He looked at the older man, and smiled lovingly.      




***
minna!!!! wuah!!! gomen ne....
i don't know how this turns out...
how was it? is it okay?
feel free to express anything, ne.
also, i added few original characters here, (is it OC that u call it?) =P
and about where they resides in New York, the only place that is suitable for Kame is Manhattan after all. =P
Park Avenue is the most expensive one, Madison Avenue comes next. SoHo and the Village is still expensive, but for people who has money is cheaper. BUT SoHo and Village is where lots of Asian hangs out. there's a small area in the village we call it "Japanese Town" even though it's not official, like how it is with China town. lol. everyone has their own name for it, some call it (J-town) lol.
but, anyways, Hayato's friends are such players, nee? gomen nasai.
lol. i just have the image of boys like that.
high school boys right now are anything BUT innocent.
thankfully none of my friends are like that... *sigh in relief*
but, Hayato isn't a playboy, and yes... Hayato is a virgin... *shhh, don't tell anyone, ne?*
well, everyone, i don't want to ramble too much, so i'll leave it here, ne?
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STILL READING THIS!!! *huggiezzz*
comments are highly appriciated. *bows*

*runs*
*cookies for everyone*

p.s: i was referring to the pic of the 6 of them when they were in their chibi days, naked, lining up. i'm pretty sure they're in an onsen. i googled the pic, and i think it's in photobucket. so... me no own nothing. :)

Title: Kamenashi Hayato; my son... my lover

Pairings: Hayato&Kazuya, Jin&Kazu, Junda, and TaNaka maybe...?

Summary: The result of his affair............. because of an argument, and his carelessness, the bundle appeared in his life. Kazuya walked out on him, upset, and left him to take care of it on his own. Jin loves him too much, so went after him, and clear his mess.
in the middle, however... he got into an accident, and died.
kame... left without Jin, the love of his life. And, aside from his family, friends, and his lover that he left behind... he also left someone that would never meet him for the rest of his life... his son, Hayato.
deciding on raising Hayato as his own, Kame would never thought that he would grow up into such fine man, and the exact image of his dad... and he would never thought of falling in love with the younger man...
(seee... i'm bad with summaries... sorry....) =D

Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one. *checks wallet* nope... i'm so broke... *sigh...*

Notes: nervous... very nervous... this is originally my first fic... not special happiness. no matter which is it, it's still nerve wracking for me. And... ummm... the title... maybe it's kind of... hmm, stupid, ne? or not making any sense... well, if not, i guess i might change it.
don't hesitate on expressing your opinion... *please go easy on me...* lol.
well... *gulps* here I go, I guess....

for these authors:

akirashock04: poke poke poke poke* YAY!!!! luvvv your HAYAME!!!! >>333
akame_hime: *glomps*  silly hime... perverts are us!!! *grins*
kawaiikame: *laughing like a crazy person* YAYYY i know who it is now!!!
kazuha_ono: my spoiled nee-chan... (no, nee-chan, i don't have chappie 4 yet...) =P
ryuuki05: haven't talk to u in a while... genki? (i know u like Special Happiness, but i dunno about this) lol

-And special thanks for the readers!!!
*big hugs*



-anou... in the fics... i changed a lot, and make up lots of things here.
these are all just made up.
i don't know much about babies, i tried to ask my mom, but... i don't want to make her question me why i'm being so curious. *bricks self*
again, i apologize for the late update. i'm slow and dense, so please forgive me.... *bows*
and... i know, i'm supposed to be updating SPECIAL HAPPINESS's chappie 7.... but, it's sooo hard!!! i don't know what to write in it... lol *gomen ne?*
well... umm... dozo... yoroshiku onegaishimasu....


 

Dedicated for these authors:

akirashock04: hayame please!!! *grins*
akame_hime: perverts R us, ne, hime? (smut forte-author-san) *coucgh* =P
kawaiikame: pls pls pls pls tell me the person!!! *pouts* 
kazuha_ono: hey!! i updated, please don't brick me!!!
ryuuki05: haven't talk to u in a while... genki?

-And special thanks for the readers!!!
*big hugs*
uh... douzo *runs off to hide*


 

(Oh, and the ones in italics are flash backs, i guess, ne? or sometimes i use it as in a way the character is saying it mentally to themselves.) 


"How's he?" Pi asked Koki after the man got out of the room.

"Sleeping for now." Koki said softly.

Everyone was sitting around Kame's living room after the funeral, he's been crying for days, hasn't sleep, hasn't eat and they're a bit relieved that he is at least resting for now.
T-TUN and Pi are are around in his house after Jin's funeral, they couldn't leave Kame alone in this state.

 

"Tat-chan?" Junno frowned at him.

The man next to him was clutching on his arms so tightly, and he could feel the smaller but older man trembling.

Ueda's pale face, turned to him, his tired swollen eyes looking at him.

"Don't leave me..." Ueda trembled. "Promise, you don't... Ever..." He chocked on his tears.

Junno pulled him to his hold, and lock him there.

"I'll be here, Tat-chan." Junno forced a smile.

"I don't know what I'll do..." He cried again.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Uebo, but I'll be around... Annoy you, telling you my jokes......" Junno tried to joke.

"I love you." Ueda cut his boyfriend off.

"And I love you, Tat-chan..." Junno said as he wiped his tears away.

 

Nakamaru embraced Koki from behind, and laid his chin on his shoulder.

Koki put down the cup that he's holding, and lean in to Maru's touch.

"Doshtano?" He asked softly.

Maru didn't answer, but tightening his hold around him.

"I won't leave you, Yucchi..." Koki whispered.

"Koki...." Maru said, in a quivering voice.

He turned around and hug his boyfriend. Maru's usually the calm and collected person in the group. But, by
the way he called his name, with that tone, frightened, Koki felt a pang in his heart.

"Aishiteru, Koki...." Maru cried hysterically.

Koki smiled and cupped his boyfriend's face.

"Mochiron-yo, Yucchi. Because I love you so much!" He smiled a bit.

Yamapi watched the scene quitely.
Koki and Maru in the kitchen, while Ueda and junno in the balcony.
He picked up a picture frame of Jin, him, and Kame in their younger years.
"Bakanishi...." He said to thin air.
Memories washed his mind, as the sound of laughter he used to share with his best friend rang in his ears. He saw another photo of the three of them again, this time, after the Seishun Amigo debut. He remembered how Kame confided in him, crying when he got into argument with Jin. When he suddenly became cold, and their relationship is on the edge.
Nothing's changed, since junior years, its always about Kame. He loved Kame too, yet he chose Jin. Pi always knew he would anyway, acting like he hates him was only a shield so that he wouldn't get hurt.
Forcing himself on hating Kame, pretending, and seal his true emotions, is one way Yamapi deal with losing Kame to his own bestfriend.
"Yakusoku darou? You promised me, right?" He said to a portrait of Jin alone. "That you wouldn't hurt Kame again?" A drop of fresh tear rolled down his left cheek.
"I'm your bestfriend, baka!!!" He spat. "This hurts me too...." He said.
Then, Yamapi slumped down to the floor, tears stream down his handsome face, and hands on his mouth to muffle his cry.

The five of them mourns their friend's death in their own way.

"JIN!!!!!!!!!"

A loud shriek pierced through the quite apartment.

"Kame?" Maru got up surprised.

"Let's check him." Ueda nodded.

The five moved to his room.

"JIN!!!!!!" Kame screamed. Eyes still closed, tears running non-stop.
"JIN!!!!!!! MATTE!!!!!" He's reaching for something, into nothing, into thin air.

"Kazuya...." Koki pat his shoulder gently.

"Jin.... Jin...." He cried out.

Ueda cried looking at the sight of Kame in that situation.

"Matte, Jin..." Kame sobbed. "Don't leave me..." He pleaded.

Everyone didn't know what to do, so they just look at the helpless young man writhing on the bed.

"Jin...." He got up and looked around his surroundings.

He knows.
He knows he's not there. He knows his boyfriend, his lover, most importantly, his bestfriend is gone forever.
"Jin...." He called again.
Then he cried hysterically.
No more jin...
Jin... his pillar of support is gone...

"Kame...." Maru hugged the younger man. "Don't cry... Enough.... Ne?" He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Naze...." He stuttered. "NAZE DA??!!!" He yelled.

"Kame...." Koki joined in now.

"I love him, Koki....." He cried. "So much....." He sobbed.

Maru looked away, hiding the tears that rolled down his face.

"We've been through this much... And this is how it turned out?" He whispered.

Ueda kneeled down and pat him on his knee.

"Be strong, Kame..." Ueda whispered.

Yamapi wiped his tears.

"Be strong... Jin won't like to see you like this...." Yamapi forced his smile.

"No more Jin..." He looked away from his friends.
"No more fighting with Jin, no more eating with Jin... No more Jin." 
"No more hugs, no more kisses, no more Jin..."
"No more... no more...."
He said as he clutched the blanket tightly and cried harder.

Koki cried. Despite of trying to be strong for his group, he cried now.
"Kazuya....."

"I'm alone now...." He cried.

Not knowing of what to say anymore, he just hugged the youngest member.
"I'll cry with you...." He trembled.
"We're not only co-workers.... We're friends, right?"
Koki tigthened his hug.
"We're all more than that...." Koki patted him. "We're like family"
"No more cry, Kazuya...." Koki trembled.

But Kame just cried, and wrap his arms around Koki's neck.

"We'll be here, Kame..." Maru took his hand.

"yeah...." Junno caressed his back.

"Always..." Ueda took his other hand.

"Kon..." Yamapi said as with a smile despite tears rolling down his eyes.

Kame grasped the hands of his friends tightly, and cried on Koki's shoulder.



The headlines of newspaper and television doesn't change since the day of the accident, till the day of Jin's funeral.

Akanishi Jin, the A of KAT-TUN; one of Johnny's famous and most successful band if idol, died in a car crash at 22. Family, friends, and fans all mourning at the loss of KAT-TUN's lead singer.



Nakamaru realized that everyone hasn't eaten the whole day, and it's almost 11 p.m., and especially Kame.
The younger man's isn't thinking straight ever since the accident, and is losing weight drastically.
He called for a take out sushi, and some other restaurants, to order all of Kame's favorite dishes.
And now, everyone is in the living room, eating in heavy silent.
Ueda forced himself to eat, and when he sat quite, unmoving, Junno would give him a soft nudge, and he would put on a smile, and eat.
Nakamaru took deep breath every now and then to hold back his tears as he eats.
Koki kept drinking his cold water, to cool himself down.
Yamapi forced himself to act silly, and sneakily rubbed his eyes when he couldn't hold back the tears.

Kame poked the food on his plate, and took small little bites of it.
He took a look around the table, and find there are six of them eating at this moment.
Moments like these are always rare for them because of their heavy schedules as the rising and most popular idols in the country. So everytime they get to eat in someone's house, they would all be themselves, and it was always loud.
He remember how Junno would beg Jin for giving him back his piece of sushi or meat.
And then Ueda just have to throw Jin a look, and Jin would immediately apologize and scoot closer to him.
Then there's also where Jin would poke Nakamaru's nose, and made fun of him endlessly, and got Koki to join him even though it's his boyfriend that they're poking on.
Also, the way Jin would give him that certain look to him, the look of wanting to be pampered only by Kazuya, his Kazuya.

"Please, feed me, Kazu-chan."
He remembered Jin said with a pout and opened his mouth wide.

Kame just shook his head, and fed his lover, but he smiled, because he loves Jin.
Even if Jin's childish, and suppose to be the older one between them.
But that's why... he loves Jin.
"Thank you, Kazu-chan! You're so kind! Chu~"
Jin said, give him a quick peck.

Six people...
KAT-TUN...
But...
The other person with them, isn't the supposedly the other member of KAT-TUN.
It's not Jin.
Jin....
He cried again.

"Kazuya..."
Nakamaru swallowed the food in his mouth painfully.

No one wants to eat at this time.
But if they don't, they'd get sick, and that'll just add another thing to their problem.

"I- I'd go get some more drinks."
Kame stood up and hurried off to the kitchen.

Nakamaru turned around from the others and cried.
Furiously wiping his tears from his eyes before they travelled down to his cheeks.
They're sad because of all this, and more importantly, they felt somehow useless for not being able to confront their youngest friend in this tough situations.

"Yucchi..."
Koki called him softly.

He refused to turn around.
Cuz he knows the moment he does so, he'd come to Koki's arm and cried again.
It should be enough already...
But no one could help it.


"Someone's at the door..."
Nakamaru sniffed, wiping his cheeks.
"Maybe it's Kame's mom. I kept on mailing her every hour to tell her how Kame is doing."
He explained.
"I'll go get it."

"She'd get worry and come herself here, I guess."
Junno said, giving Ueda's shoulder a rub.



"Hai...."
Maru said as he opened the door.
He expected to see the face of a familiar older woman, who he has come to know since he was little, since she would bring Kame and the rest of his juniors friends in the agency a little snacks as she sent them off for practice.
But the woman right by the door isn't anything like Kame's mom at all.

"Who... are you?"
Maru frowned.

"Hi, I'm Akanishi-kun's-"
She didn't get to finish when Pi approached.

"Look, have some consideration, won't you?"
He spat.
"We're not idols at this moment, so please, give us a break."

"Yes, please... don't make this even harder for us..."
Maru nodded.
For Kazuya...

"No..."
She shook her head.
"I'm... Rika."
She bowed.
"Ayumi's friend..."

Pi's eyes widened.
"A-Ayumi...?"

"Yes..."
She replied softly.

Of course Pi knows who this lady is, and the other she mentioned.
"It was nothing, Pi... I swear!"
Jin sighed as he ruffled his hair in frustration.
"There was nothing between me and Ayumi, is just a one time thing, and she knows that."

Pi's eyes divert to the basket like the lady is holding.
And he was lost for words.
Nakamaru followed his gaze, and everything suddenly clicked.

"Is that..."

The lady nodded.
Both Pi and Nakamaru looked at each other, and to the direction of the kitchen.



~
*hiding!!!!!!!!

 

 Title: Special Happiness (chappie 5)

Pairings: Jin/Kazu

Summary: I suck at this... but, I'll give it a go....
                      -So, Jin had an accident, that left him handicapped. People picked him a lot, and he has no friends. Untill Kame arrived. 
                           very sorry it sucks, minna-san...

Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one. don't own jin jin, don't own kazu-chan. (sigh....)

Notes: this is my first time writing and posting here. i'm very new at this, very nervous, and very cluless. but, i'd give it a try.
comments is highly appriciated. don't hesitate if you find something off in here to tell me.
And.... Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu... 

 Akame_hime: for always listening to my idiotic rants, and never minding the spoilers... Thank you a bunch, Putri!!!!

Kawaiikame: : for always excusing me on beta-ing her fics late... (gomen ne) and thank you a bunch!

And for minna-san, who continues on reading... and gives me such nice comments that keeps me on from writing. 

Thank you so much!!! I really appriciate it! 
And of course, YAY AKAME!!!! >>>3333 

community.livejournal.com/akame_/1284602.html (chappie 1)
community.livejournal.com/akame_/1289000.html (chappie 2)
community.livejournal.com/akame_/1304444.html (chappie 3)
peace-l0v3.livejournal.com/4665.html (chappie 4)


 

"What are you doing for Christmas break, Kazu?"
Jin asked the younger boy.

Kame is sitting down on the ground in the school's backyard with Jin.
He put his book down, and look at Jin.

"Nothing."
Kame replied.
"You?"

"Ah, well, my families are coming from Okinawa, so we're going to have dinner together and such."
Jin replied.

Kame felt a pang of jealousy, and his face grew grim.

"What about your family, Kame?"

"Ah... umm, probably they'd come too."
Kame nodded.
"From Hokkaido probably."

"Probably?"
Jin frowned.

"Ah... I mean... not sure if we're going there, or they're coming here..."
Kame trailed.

"Sou ka? I hope they come here instead. You'll be freezing up there especially December and January."
Jin pointed.
"I know you grew up in London, I don't know how cold it gets there in December, but trust me, you do not, under any circumstances, want to go to Hokkaido in December."
He nodded.

"Don't worry."
Kame laughed.
No one is in Hokkaido, Jin...

"New Years?"
Jin tilted his head to the side.

"Well, my brothers would probably drink themselves till the next day with their friends, or their girlfriends, and my parents would have dinner with their friends."
He shrugged.
It's not really a lie...

"Then... what are you doing?"
Jin frowned.

"I'm sure I'll do something too."
Kame replied.
"Ah, sou da! What do you want for Christmas?"
He changed the subject.

"Eh?"
Jin blinked.
"Y-you don't have to get me anything."
He mumbled.
"What do you want?"

"Hmmm..."
Kame tapped his chin.
"I've been good this year, so I want something underneathe my christmas tree."

"What's that? A lifetime supply of dried squid and squid sushi?"
Jin grinned.

"Squids are good."
Kame pouted.
"You're so mean, santa might give you a coal this year."

"If you're not good, santa might give you something else too."
Jin grinned even wider.
"Who knows, he might've give you a stack of tomatoes instead of coal..."

"Jin~"
Kame pouted, hitting him softly.

Jin laughed. He looked at his pouting boyfriend and took his hand in his.
"Don't really want any present from santa."
He said looking straight into Kame's eyes.
"I already have it... since the middle of December."

Kame blushed, and looked away.
"Baka."
He mumbled.

"Then..."
Jin kissed him on the cheek.
"What does my boyfriend wants underneathe his tree?"

Kame smiled.
"Nothing."
He shook his head.
"I used to ask the man for it under my tree, but it never happened...."
He looked at Jin lovingly.
"Till now."
He kissed Jin on the corner of his lips.

"What did you ask? One of his reindeer?"
Jin chuckled.

"Baka... no."
He shook his head.
"Besides, there's no such thing as reindeer. I went to Canada, and they make it look like reindeers. Poor animals."

"Canada?"
Jin blinked.
"You've been to Canada? Sugoi, Kazu!"

"Huh? Ah... ano... yeah..."
He cleared his throat.

"Heh... I've never been out of Japan... I want to see other countries too."
Jin mumbled.
"Like... Italy and America."
Jin pointed.
"Los Angeles I heard is nice. New York too."

"Italy? Yeah, it is nice... Tuscany, Rome... Very romantic..."
Kame looked up to the sky, reminiscing.
"Los Angeles is great too. Lots of hollywood stars live there. California has like little Japan town, like China town type of like. And New York's great offerings with their Broadway plays, and both are shopping centers!" Kame rant.

Jin blinked, looking at him.
"Kazu... you've been there too?"

"Eh?"
He snapped out of his daze.
"Ahhh, no... I saw it on tv, and read a few American magazines..."
If I said yes... what would he say?

"Heh... In California and Florida I heard the beaches are beautiful, ne?"
Jin asked again.

"Hmm, yeah."
Kame nodded.
"But, if we talk about beautiful beaches, Okinawa has it too, ne?"
Kame smiled, looking at Jin.

"Well, I am an Okinawa native, but still California and Florida's beaches looks nice."
Jin nodded.

"I still like Okinawa's though."
Kame tapped his chin.
"But, there are others too that you should look..."
He turns to Jin.
"Like... the one in Bali, Indonesia... great waves! Or in Cancun, Mexico, parties are big during spring there. Caribbean's... Bora Bora Pearl, Bahamas, Hawaii, and-"
He stopped when he saw the look on Jin's face.

"You know so much..."
Jin pointed.

"A-ah... well..."
He scratched his head.
"I like marine animals, so, I do lots of research on what kinds do they have in this part and that."
Kame stated.
"And then, informations on the beaches would come out."
He added.
Yabai!

"Ah... I see."
Jin nodded.
"I thought for a second you're going to tell me you've been there before."
He smiled.

"Hahaha...."
Kame laughed nervously.
Lies after lies... How long are you going to do this to him? To you?!

"Only rich people can afford such places, ne."
Jin commented.

Kame went silent after that.
"Ano saa, Jin..."
He trailed.

"Ii-ne... I wish I can go to that kind of places too."
Jin stretched his arms.
Oblivious to how his boyfriend is looking right now.
"Kazu?"
Jin poked him on the cheek.

"Hah?"
Kame looked around.

"You're dazing off..."
Jin grinned.

"Ah... I'm... thirsty."
He took Jin's water bottle and took a swig out of it.
"Thanks."
He handed it back to him.

"Wuah... indirect kiss."
Jin looked at his bottle and took a gulp too.

Kame shook his head, chuckling at his boyfriend's antics.
"There are better ones, you know."
Kame wrapped his arms around the older man's neck.

"Better beaches?"
Jin blinked.

"Nope..."
Kame shook his head, leaning even closer to Jin.
"Better than indirect kiss..."
He smirked.

"K-Ka...zu...ya?"
Jin backs his head, away from Kame's face.

"Direct kiss!!!"
Kame exclaimed and kiss his boyfriend.

"K-Kazu... we're in school..."
Jin protested.
"Hmph... K-azu..."
The younger one ignored the protest and kept kissing him.
Not long after, he responded, and wrap his arms around the younger man's waist.

The bush in the backyard rustled, and the boy that's been hiding there the entire time quitely made his way out of the school's backyard.
"Wuah... maji de?"
He said to himself.
"Eh.... unless Kamenashi has another twin or something... Look alike...?"
He frowned.
"But... that is the real Kamenashi, neee."
He crossed his arms on his chest.
"Ehhhh... Ryo-tan and Pi-chan would probably be surprised... Matsumoto-kun too. Ah, Koki-kun too."
He nodded.
"Oh... Ryo-tan is sure going to be angry. Ryo-tan and Koki-kun would probably go ballistic..."
He looked back to the direction of the school's backyard and kept walking out of there.

*********************************

"Nii-san?"
Kame put down the documents and look at his oldest brother.

"Nani?"
Kojirou asked, still typing on one hand, and signing papers on the other hand.

"What... are we doing for the holidays?"
He asked, quite uneasily.

"Hmm, should we get out of Tokyo?"
He suggested.
"Where do you want to go, Kazuya?"
Finally he stopped working, and looked up to his little brother.

Kame got up, and walked around the table, thinking.
He flipped open his cellphone, and saw the picture message his boyfriend sent him.
Decorating the tree... Look at these mess, Kame! *grins* How's your Christmas tree? _Jin_
Jin sent him the message and a picture of him next to the tree.
He looked down to the first floor, where his gigantic tree, is fully and well decorated by his maids and butlers.

"How come... we don't decorate our own trees?"
He mumbled.

"What? Tree? Yeah... you don't like it? I'll ask them to redecorate it."
He replied.

"Nevermind."
He sighed.

"Kazuya."
His second brother entered the room.
"I think your idiotic friends are downstairs."
He took a seat on the chair opposite their eldest brother.

"Idiotic...?"
Kame frowned.

"Bocchama, young masters are in the first floor game room."
The butler reported.

"Hn..."
Kame nodded.
"Excuse me."
He said to his brothers.

"Why is he glum now?"
Yuujirou frowned.
"He was happy few weeks ago."

"Stop picking on him."

"Nii-san, your little brother ate tomatoes because he was looking into nothing, smiling..."
He flailed.
"Eating tomatoes, smiling!"

The older man frowned.

"Bocchama maybe in love..."
The butler chuckled.

"Hmmm, would you send someone and see who the person is? I feel sorry for that person, Kazuya is hard to handle, moreover, doesn't show his emotions... Poor thing- ITAI!!! Why did you hit me, nii-san?"
He rubbed his arm.

"You're such an idiot."
He hit his brother's forehead once more.
"No wonder Hide-kun dumped you somehow."

"Hide is my bestfriend."
He defended.
"Can I have hot coco please."
He turned to the butler.

The butler shook his head and left the brothers bickering.
"Please make sure bocchama and his friends have snacks and beverages."
He said to the head maids.

"Kazuya!!!"
The taller of the two glomped him.

"You're so dense. Not even calling us to come hang out."
The shorter one spat.
"What's with your attitude, just sending text messages."

"Gomen."
He said.

"Maa, it's okay..."
The taller one said, flipping back his blonde hair.

"Where's Yu-"
He was cut off by the shorter man.

"Ah, he's in a seminar on the new Medical terms in Kanagawa."

"Hn. He'll be back somewhere before Christmas. So, we're all celebrating it, ne?"
The taller one patted him on the back.

"Bocchama-tachi..."
The maids apologized for interrupting.
"Would you like any beverages?"

"Coffee."
The shorter one replied.

"Which one, young master? We currently have beans from Colombia, Sumatra, and Afrika."

"Sumatra's. Not too strong, not too light."
He added

"Hot coco."
Kame said.

"Apple Juice!"
The tall blonde cheerily replied.

"Right away, young masters."
She bowed and left.

"Bocchama, master and madame is on the phone."
The butler hand him the cordless phone to him.

"Hello?"
He said, as he walks towards the balcony.
"Um... Yeah, they're here. He's in Kanagawa, new medical term seminar thing."
He nodded.
"Ah... okay. Oyasumi, Okaa-san, Otou-san."
He walked back and gave the phone back to the butler.

"Doshta?"
The blonde asked.

"They're coming home."
Kame said.
Soon, his stoic, unreadable face turns brighter as a small smile grace his lips.

"Yokatta ne."
Both his friends smiled back.

"Hn."
Kame nodded.

"So... what's new with you? And you don't say much about as to why you're in that public school."

"Hn... I just don't want any attentions on me."
He replied.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Kazuya?"
The blonde asked.
"Or a boyfriend?"

Kame sputtered his hot coco out, coughing madly.
"H-hah?"

"Well... I take that as a yes..."
The shorter one smirked.

"Heh... who is he, Kazuya? Do we know him?"

"W-what are you guys talking about?"
He frowned.
"Stupid blonde, shut up, will you? And you, go back to the gym and box."

The two look at the youngest boy, amused.
They've never see Kamenashi Kazuya, their friend since they were kids, like this...
Talking, and he's saying a complete sentences. Not a word or a nod.
He was even smiling.

"Awwww, come on... tell! Tell! Tell! Tell! We're you're friends..."
The blonde one cling on Kame's arm.
"Kazuya......"

"Leave me alone."
He swat the finger that is poking his face.

"Hmmm... dark brown hair... slightly tanned skin, full lips, brown eyes, fluent on English... deshou?"
The shorter one smirked.

Both Kame and the blonde went quite.

"Omae... why do you know?"
Kame got exclaimed.
"Nande!!!!"

"He's handsome, Kazuya..."
He added.
"Nice catch."
He winked.

"Stupid boxing freak!"
Kame growled.

"Love you too, Kazuya."
He smiled.
"Oh.. Kame-chan..."

"OMAE!!!"
Kame launched himself to his friend, but was held back by the blonde.
"Go back to the gym, and sweat!!!!"
He screamed.
"Ugh!!!!"

"Kame-chan..."
The two laughed, and ruffled Kame's hair.

"One of the boys spotted him and you together..."
The shorter one explained.
"And told me about it."

"You mean your hit man?"
The blonde grinned.

"Well... he thought he was some sort of an annoyance for you. So he did a little research, and told me."
He added.
"Then, he found out, that you guys are dating."

"You spied on me!!!"
Kazuya shrieked.

"For a good reason."
He shook his head.
"You said you don't want people to know you're back here."
He pointed.
"What if it's someone undercover, and post your whereabouts in the paper the next day?"

Kame's face softened.
"Hai..."

"Well, let's go shopping?"
The blonde suggested.
"Tomorrow's Christmas after all."

Kame and the other one nodded.
"You have the new ferrari, right?"
He turned to Kame.

"Yeah..."
He nodded.

"Let's go.. let me take a ride on that!"
He walk towards the direction of the mansion's garage.
"They only made 3 of them, so I have to wait untill they make more next year."

Kame nodded, and followed his friends out.

"Chotto..."
The blonde one stopped the other.
"Haven't you have enough Louis Vuitton already?"

"I didn't see that bag over there."
He pointed.

"You bought half of what's in the store when we were in Harajuku..."
The blonde one nodded.
"Are you planning to do the same here, in Shibuya?"

"He's right."
Kame nodded.

"Speak for yourself, Kazuya."
He harrumphed.
"You put the Burberry store closed."
He pointed the bags Kazuya is putting inside the car.
"At least I only bought half in the store."

"Shut up."
Kame mumbled.

"Let's go eat..."
The blonde suggested.
"There's a new restaurant over there."

"Sounds good."
The two nodded.

"Let me put the bags into the car."
Kame said and opened the door to his red ferrari.

His two friends waited few feet away from him.
When he's done, Kame closed the ferrari's door, earning admiration and envy from other people around as he clicked the lock button on the keys.
He wrapped his burberry scarf around his neck, and walked away from the car.

"Let's go then."
The tall blonde grinned.

"I want it, Kazuya."
The shorter one pointed to the car.
"You, that rich kid in America, and the one in Europe are the ones who has this Ferrari series."
He sighed.
"I don't get why the company only make three of them, cuz I'd sure buy it the moment they release it."

"You know you can have it if you want."
Kame shrugged.

"This is your 17th birthday present from your dad."
He pointed.
"We can't do that..."

"Do you not count how many ferraris I have in the garage?"
Kame frowned.

"Still, if you bought that, I'd probably snatch it away."
The shorter one commented.

"People are oggling at the car."
The blonde pointed.

"Who wouldn't?"

Kame just sighed and rolled his eyes, at his friend's obsession of his car.
He doesn't care really, his friends could all have it, from his ferraris, porsches, Mercedez, BMWs, Jaguars...
The decent car he drives to school is fine enough for him.
And as long as it can fit his boyfriend's chair in it, and it's comfy and doesn't give him trouble, it's enough for him.

 

"Kazuya?"
Jin frowned as he saw a familiar figure walking away just a few feet away from him.

"Aniki? Let's go, I got the cake."
Reio pointed to the bag.
"Doshtano?"
Reio frowned, and look at the direction his brother is looking.
"Ferrari? Awesome..."
He whistled.

"I thought I saw Kame, around that car..."

"Kamenashi-senpai is in Shibuya too?"
Reio frowned.

"Yeah, I saw him walking away from the ferrari."
Jin nodded.
"Ah... masaka ne... not possible."
Jin shook his head.

"You probably just miss him, aniki."
Reio shook his head.
"Shut up. Let's go."
Jin mumbled.
He took a look at the car again, and the direction his boyfriend walked to.
Ahhh... I guess I really do miss him... I even strat to see people who looks just like him.
Jin sighed.


______________________


"Ugh..."
Kame reached for his phone, eyes still closed.
"WHAT?! DAMN IT, LET ME SLEEP!!!"
He roared.
"Jin?!"
He sat up, fully awake.
"Sorry, no no no... I didn't know it was you."
He said softly.
"Hn... just woke up..."
Kame yawned.
"I miss you...."
Kame said again.
The line was silent for a while, and he heard Jin sighed in content. 

I miss you too, Kazu... merry christmas
Kame closed his eyes, and smiled.
"Merry christmas."

After the call ended, he happily jumped into the shower.
He's so excited.
It's Christmas, and his boyfriend called him and wished him first out of everyone.
And moreover, his parents are home for the holiday.
For the first time, in a long time, he will see his parents home for holiday.
He'll have holiday with all his family present.

"Ohayou gozaimasu, bocchama..."
The maids and butlers lined up, and bowed.
"Merry Chirstmas."

"Ah.. Ohayou... Merry Christmas."
He smiled.
"Merry Christmas, onii-san, aniki."
He greeted his brother.

"Merry chirstmas to you too."
They replied.
"Thanks for the gifts."
Kojirou pointed to the sweater.

"Thanks, little bro."
Yuujirou pointed to the shirt.

"What'd you get me?"
Kame grinned.

"Your presents are in the socks from me."
Kojirou pointed.

"Mine's under the tree."
Yuujirou replied.

"Why are you still holding documents and files? It's christmas."
He frowned.
"Ah... you all should be home."

"Are you firing me, Bocchama?"
The butler smiled.

"No... it's the holiday season. Everyone should be home, with their friends and family."
Kame shook his head.
"Ne?"

"No, bocchama, it's fine, I can stay..."

"Well, why not spend it with the family?"
Kame smiled again.

They all sighed in defeat, when their young master made his point, they couldn't argue no more.

"Oh, there's my sons."
A man in his 50s walked in to the living room.

"Otou-san..."
The three of them bowed.
"Okaa-san..."

"Genki?"
She asked them.

"Hai."
Kame nodded, smiling brightly.

"How's school, Kazuya?"
His dad asked.

"Great."
He nodded again.

"Don't worry... all the medias business are taken care of."
His mom patted her youngest son.
"Besides, Yuujirou can always distract them with the idols issues, ne?"
She smiled.

"Ah... did you see my presents?"
Their dad smiled.
"They're in the box out there, the red one for Koji, the green for Yuuji, and white for Kazuya."

"Why are they in the driveway though-"
Yuujirou trailed off.
He gaped, and went off outside, and they could hear him screaming like an idiot after the assistants opened the big box.

"Master, madame, the limo's ready."
The chauffer informed.

"Eh?"
Kame blinked.
"Are we going somewhere?"

"We have a meeting to attend in Brunei regarding an oil ordeal."
He explained.

"Sorry we couldn't stay long."
Their mom smiled sadly.

"A-anou... where will you be after the meeting?"
Kame asked.

"Well, I'll be in London in three days, and go back to New York by January 5th."
Their dad replied.

"I'll be with your dad."
Their mom nodded.

"Saa, we'll get going now. Visit us, okay?"
His dad smiled.
"Jaa."
He ruffled both his sons' hair and left.

"Bye sweet hearts..."
Their mother smiled, and patted their cheeks lovingly.

Kame forced himself to bow after his parents left.
The bright smile that was on Kazuya's face was gone.
He stood there, staring at the door blankly.
Dissapointed, angry, upset, sad, frustrated...

"Kazuya...?"
Koji called his little brother.

Kame scoffed, and shook his head.
"Yeah... happy fucking holidays, Kazuya."
He said to himself.
"I'm going out."
He said to his brother, and stormed out of the door.
Once outside, he opened the door to his white porsche and drove out of the drive way.
Stopping by the white box his dad talked about before.
The secutiry guards opened the box for him to see the contents.
He went inside, examining the sleek black convertible ferrari, limited edition that supposed to come out in the middle of next year.
"DAMN IT!!!"
He kicked the car and went back to his porsche and drove off in speed.

He stopped in front of a house, few houses down is his boyfriend's house.
He looked at the quite street, and people going in to the houses, bringing gifts for family and friends.
He saw the happy smiles on their faces.
Heard the happiness one of the boy exclaimed as he saw his mother surprised him with a bowl of his favorite dish.
The grip on the steering wheels tightened, and he felt the burn sensation in his eyes.

Jin dialed the phone number he knows by heart.
He was surprised, when the person on the other line picked it up so quickly.

"Kazu?"
Jin frowned.
"Kazu?"

"Hi Jin.."
Kame replied after a minute softly.

"Doshtano?"

"Hn... Nandemonai."
He heard Kame sighs. 

"Anou... Kazu..."
Jin bit his lips.
"I know this maybe not a good time, but... do you want to come over? Have dinner with me, and such."
Jin asked.
"I mean... I know it's still early, but, you know, I was thinking if you are not busy, you can come over. I told mom and dad about it, and they said it's okay."
He rant.
"Kame...?"
He frowned when he doesn't hear a sound from the other line.

"Is that okay?"
He whispered.

"U-un..."
Jin nodded.
"Mom has a squid pasta with ink sauce."
Jin smiled.
"You can't resist it, right? It's squid-"

"I want to see you..."
Kame cut him off.
"Jin.... I want to see you."
So bad
 

"Baka.. I told you, come over, ne?"

"Hai.. I'll be there right now. Wait for me on the front door, ne?"
With that, Kame hung up.

"Nanda-yo-"
Before he could finish what he was trying to say, he saw his boyfriend outside, hands on his knees, panting.
"Kazu!"
Jin rushed as fast he can with his chair to him.
"Kazu... you're trembling... did you run your way here? Ka-"
Kame sat down on his lap, wrapped his arms around Jin's neck, and kissed him.
The kiss was desperate and longing, making Jin confused.
He could feel Kame's hands are roaming his torso after leaving his neck.
Kame pulled away, and began kissing and nipping Jin's neck.
Jin moaned.
"K-kazu..."
His boyfriend then threw his arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Jin..."
He shivered.
He pulled Jin even closer, desperation could be heard from his voice.

"Kazu?"
Jin frowned.
"You're freezing..."
He gasped.
"It's very cold, Kazuya... why didn't you at least wear a sweater?"

Kame sighed, burying his head on the crook of Jin's neck.

"Is something wrong?"

"I miss you..."
Kame whispered.

Jin smiled.
"Oh... don't scare me like that."
Jin ran his hand up and down his back.
"I'm glad you can come."
He whispered.

"Hn... I'm glad you called me."

"Come on... my mom makes the best hot coco in the Akanishi family."
Jin smiled.

Kame nodded, and got up, opening the door.
He got inside after his boyfriend, and immediately felt relaxed and warmth all around his body.
Not because of the heater that Jin's house has, but the way his mom welcomed him like she've known him for a long time, and the way Reio and his dad just throw jokes at each other, and make Kame confused.
And how Jin's other relatives and friends greeted him friendily, and welcomed him with genuine smile.
In this small house, and almost cramped space, are filled with people that cares about each other, can bring happiness in an instant.
Comparing to his own, that is probably the size of 2 Tokyo Dome put together, that only brings unshed tears all this while, even if he grew up in London, his mansion there too are the same like his mansion in Tokyo.
In fact, all of his mansions never give off a warm cozy feelings, that's why he decided to buy a decent apartment for himself around his school. It's not much, but he likes it.

He inhaled deeply, smelling the aroma coming from the kitchen, and the aroma of the tree, and the scent of a warm, comforting place.
I'm home...
 

"Kazuya-kun... do you want marshmallow in it?"
Jin's mom asked.

"Ah... which ever way you make it, Akanishi-san."
He bowed in gratitude.

"Hai... Jin, this yours, and this is Kazuya-kun's."
She handed them each cup, and put down a plate of cookies with smiley face on them.
"Jin and Reio are still kids at heart... and always like western chirstmas tradition. Last year, we do it Japanese, and this year, we're doing it Western... It's not much, but... everyone likes the ideas."
She smiled.

Kame smiled back.
"I think that's great."
He nodded.
"Knowing Jin, all he talks about sometimes are America and their cultures."
Kame added.

"It seems interesting."
Jin flailed, reaching his cup and took a sip.
"ATSUI!!!"
He exclaimed.

Everyone pointed at him, and laughed.
Kame chuckled and reached for the napkin, and pat his boyfriend's chin, cleaning the coco stains.
The room fell silent, and Kame and Jin's oblivious to it all.

"Baka."
Kame spat.

"Turtle."
Jin pouted.

They both laughed, and the room is soon full of laughters.

He met Jin's grandparents, and they instantly love him, teasing their own grandson is a cluless idiotic boy, but nonetheless very cute but rude sometimes.
They showed him pictures of Jin running around when he was a toddler, naked under the sun of Okinawa.
He saw the happy little boy lifting up a fish as big as the size of his palm on one hand, and a peace sign showing his victory on the other.
Lots of pictures are with Jin and his dad, in father-son soccer uniforms, their faces and uniforms dirty with mud, but both of them had the biggest grin plastered on their face, and it showed how much fun they had.
Jin and his mom. The little Jin in the picture was opening his mouth so wide, waiting for his mother to feed him, his eyes fixed on the tempura on the chopsticks. His mother smiled, or from Kame's point of view, laughed at how cute Jin looks.
There's also pictures when Reio was born, how Jin settled Reio in front of him, and grinned toothily, arms on Reio's shoulders.
With his grandparents and other relatives are on Jin's birthdays, or family gatherings.
This is only his childhood, when Jin was younger than 10, and it's so lifely, it almost make Kame cry.
Cry, because he also wants what his boyfriend experienced.
He wants his mom to feed him like that too.
He wants to play baseball with his dad.
He wants to play with his brothers too.
He wants to be pampered by his grandparents too.

"Something in your eyes, Kazuya?"
Jin frowned when he sees Kame rubbing his eyes.

"I think my hair just got caught for a bit. It's kind of itchy."
He chuckled.
It's lonely, Jin. Very lonely...
 

"Jin is such a baby when he was a kid."
His mom shook her head.
"Always sneaking around, and pulling pranks here and there."

"Hm.. he was thrown off the boat because of his curiosity."
His dad nodded.

"Off the boat?!"
Kame exclaimed.
"Omae wa hontou... baka da na..."
He mocked Jin.

Jin pouted and frowned, making Kame laughed even more.
When the others are too distracted with themselves, he stole a kiss from that full pouty lips from his boyfriend.
He grinned when Jin shot him a look.
Shyly, the older man did the same, only quicker.
Kame touched his pinky with his own, and chuckled.
Jin no longer see the frown, and the sadness in his boyfriend's face.

"Well, presents time!!!"
Jin's dad took out a box, and give it to Jin and Reio.

"Woah! Arigatou, Tou-san!!!"
Both brothers exclaimed.

Both Jin and Reio got a jacket from their dad.
Their grandparents gave them money for allowances.

"This is from me."
Jin's mom handed hers.
"I made it."
She smiled.
"Of course... Kazuya-kun gets one too."

"Eh.... A-Akanishi-san, is that okay?"
Kame blinked.

"Of course."
She nodded.
"This is for you."

"Arigatou Gozaimasu."
Kame bowed, and took the presents.

"Let's open it together, then, senpai."
Reio nodded.

The three of them opened it, and the two brothers beamed it to their relatives and grandparents.

"Oh, this year okaa-san made it burgundy color."
Jin grinned.

"Mine's green."
Reio showed his own sweater.

Kame stare at the knitted sweater inside the box.

"I made it myself."
Jin's mom smiled.
"I figured you're about Reio's size, only smaller. I still hope it fits just fine."

"Oh, you got the white one!!!"
Jin exclaimed.

"Well, glad that you like it."
Jin's mom hugged Reio and Jin, and gave them a peck on the cheeks.
Both Jin and Reio protested to not do that because they're big boys now.
"Hope you like it too."
She added, and give Kame a hug.

Kame froze for a second, and slowly, hesitantly, returned the hug.
Warm...
The hug Jin's mom gave him is so comforting, it makes Kame wants to sleep.
He feels so safe in her arms.
As expected from a mother.
He doesn't remember how his own mother's hugs feels like.
It's been so long since his mother had hugged him.
When Jin's mom pulled away, he bowed in appriciation.

"Akanishi-san... arigatou gozaimasu."
Kame took out the sweater from the box, and put it on.
"It fits perfectly."
He beamed.

"You're welcome."
She smiled and ruffled Kame's hair.
"Kazuya-kun doesn't mind me doing that, Jin and Reio always complain since they turned 10. Saying they're big boys and such."
She sighed at her sons.

Kame smiled a little.
You're lucky, Jin... Reio too.
 

"Do you want to sleep over?"
Jin asked as soon as Kame closed the door behind him.
The house is quite now because his parents are dropping their relatives home, and their grandparents are taking a walk with Reio down the block to their friend's house.
Leaving the two boys home alone.

"Hmm..."
Kame sat on the carpeted floor, crossed his arms, pretending to be in deep thoughts.
He gasped, and covered his chest, leaving his boyfriend frowning.
"This is your dirty trick!!! You're going to molest me..."
He pointed accusingly.

"Huh~"
Jin gaped.
"Kazu... what are you saying?"
Jin frowned.
He got off from his chair, and slowly put himself on the floor.

"Yadda...."
Kame looks at Jin shyly.

Jin crawls to Kame, and the younger man backs away each time Jin is closer to him.
"Yadda..."
Kame teased.

Jin smirked when he saw Kame trapped, no where to go.
"Come to me, Kazu~"

Kame caught his boyfriend when Jin leaped to him, both of them lying on the ground.
He nestled his hand on Jin's collarbone, and teased it.
Jin screamed, making Kame grinned in triumph.
But Kame is slow, and careless, he let his guard down, and didn't realize Jin captured both his hands in one hand.
He giggled when Jin tickled him.

"Hahaha... Jin... Hahaha... st-haha-op..."
Kame managed to say in between laughter.
"I-hahaha surren-hahaha hihihi-der..."

Jin let go after a minute later.
Kissing his panting boyfriend on the floor, and Kame would chuckled lightly even though Jin stopped.

"Kamenashi Kazuya shouldn't... under any circumstances, touch Akanishi Jin's collarbone!"
Jin said, as he hovers on top of Kame.
"Do you understand, Kamenashi Kazuya?"

Kame giggled again.
"Hai hai..."
Kame nodded.
"Wakarimashta."
He pouted, and leaned up to kiss Jin.
"Do you need help to get up? Your legs..."

"Oh, it's fine... when I'm on the carpet, I can sit around like this, or rely the weights on my arms."
Jin smiled.
"Just tell me if you want to get up, let me know first, and sometimes if my arms became tired, then you'll feel it gets heavier..."
He grinned.
"Don't want to crush my boyfriend."

"Gee... what am I, a tooth pick that you can just snap in two?"
He huffed.

"No..."
Jin shook his head.
"If you're hurt because of me... I'd never forgive myself."
He looked into his eyes.

Kame's eyes widened, he froze under Jin's body and gaze.
He couldn't believe he just heard that.

"Kazuya..."
Jin whispered.
"I-I know this maybe too fast and such, but..."

Kame's heart beats faster when Jin looks at him like this, and the way his voice sounds.

"I love you..."
He exhaled.
"I love you, Kazuya."

The room fell silent for few minutes, Jin stare right into Kame's eyes, and Kame looked at Jin.
He couldn't tell what Kame is feeling.

"Jin..."
Kame said softly.
"Could you get up, please..?"

Jin trembled at that.
Maybe he shouldn't say that now to the younger man, but he couldn't help it.
It just came out of his mouth.
But Jin didn't regret it.
If Kazuya wants to back away, needing his space, then Jin will gladly step aside and give it to him.
Slowly, he get up to a sitting position, and leaned on the wall.
He expected Kame to get up and leave.
But Kame just looks at him, and slowly settles himself on his lap.

"Can you... hold me?"
Kame whispered.

Jin frowned, and blinked, and blinked again.

"Please..."
Kame's whisper snapped him out of it.

As soon as Kame buried his face on Jin's chest, Jin wrapped his arms around the younger one's smaller waist.
He just realized now... that Kame looks so broken, and weak in his arms like this.
Kame's always been like this, but by the way he stuck up his nose, he's not the one to be messed with, and he would bark back when he's upset, and he would show to those who he dislikes. Making sure that they never see his guard down so they might treat him as a weakling.
Inspite of Jin's disability, he's stronger compare to his boyfriend.
Even though Jin doesn't fight back like Kame does, Jin is strong, way stronger compare to Kame.
The way Kame curled right now, seeking the warmth in him shows that.
It shows how weak, vulnerable, fragile, and tired Kame is.

"Jin...?"

"Hn?"

"I love you too."

Jin sighed in relieved, thankful that he didn't pass out for being so scared.

"Are you okay...?"
Kame asked.
"Your heart... is beating so fast..."
He tried to pull away from the embrace, but Jin held him tightly.

"Because of you."
Jin said softly.
"I'm scared... scared, Kazuya."
He sighed.
"But I didn't regret it..."
Jin nuzzled into Kame's hair.
"Because I thought... if I don't say it sooner... I would regret that."
He added.
"So even though... whatever the outcomes would be... I'd accept it."
Jin kissed his forehead and leaned down to give a peck on that lips he loves so much.
"I'm so lucky to have you... I know I can't walk next to you, I can't embrace you properly, I can't do most stuffs properly, but I'll do my best to always protect you, Kazuya."
He nuzzled into Kame's hair.
"Sometimes I'm afraid that this is just a dream... And if it is, I don't want it to ever end... Because if it does... I-I don't know what I'm going to be-"
He held back the tears that threatened to come out.

Kame give him a loving kiss, and minutes later pulled away.
"See... it's not a dream."
He took Jin's hand and place it on his cheek.
"I'm real... right here with you..."
He poked Jin's chest and grinned childishly.
"Ne..."

"It's not much... but I will do my best, Kazu..."
Jin whispered.
"I'll do my best to protect you..."

 

Kame nodded, and smiled.
"Don't let go, okay?"
Kame said softly.
"Don't let me go, okay?"
He traced his finger on Jin's chest.
Please 

Jin captured the hand, and held it there.
"I won't."
Jin replied.
"Even if you asked me to."
He whispered and captured Kame's lips.

A tear of happiness escaped Kame's right eye.
I love this man... And no matter what happens, Jin... I'll protect you. Just like the way you would.
Despite the frustrations and depression his parents put him through... Kame decided.
That as long as Jin is right here, he knows he'll be okay.
Because Jin will always protect him, and spoil him, and most importantly, love him.
And he'll do the same to Jin.
Yeah... I know for sure, that I love you... Screw my background, and damn everything and everyone else. I want to embrace this... this thing that we call love... this thing that makes up of you and me. From now on... the only thing I care about is what and who you're thinking of... if you dream of me every night. If you miss me as much as I miss you... Yes, I know for sure that I love you... and there's no doubt about that. I love you, Akanishi Jin...
 

Kame pulled away from the embrace, looking into Jin's eyes, and slowly bring his lips towards his boyfriend.
He sighed contently through the kiss. The slow, loving kiss.
Slowly, both their hands started to linger and caress each other's body.
Kame pulled down the zipper to Jin's hoodie, and kissed his chest, and went up to nibble on the older one's collarbone.

"Kazu..."
Jin sighed.

Kame pulled away from the kiss and looked at Jin.
Love, shyness, and confidence, glints in his eyes.

"Jin..."
He said softly.
"Please take care of me..."

Jin gulped, knowing the meaning behind those words his boyfriend just said.
"A-anou...."

Kame only smiled at him tenderly, and with that touch of his... all doubts in his heart disappears.
They returned to kiss each other some more.
And what happened that night, in that room... is only known between the two lovers.

Jin looked up at the ceiling of his room, still panting slowly.
He looked down to his boyfriend who is lying on top of him.
They just finished making love.
It surprised the older man when the younger one willingly bottoms for him.
Jin doesn't mind, because it's Kazuya... For Kazuya, he knows he'd do anything for him.
He's just worried about his boyfriend's condition.

"You okay...?"
Jin stroke the soft hair that belongs to the younger one.

"Hn..."
Kazuya sighed, and he could tell he's smiling.

"Ah!!! I forgot to give you these."
Jin reached for the box on the table.
"Here... for you."
He smiled.

"Hm?"
Kame frowned.
"Jin... you didn't have to get me anything."

"Yeah? Well, too late."
Jin chuckled.
"You can open it."
Jin pointed.

Kame nodded, and slowly, carefully unwraps the present.
He gasped when he saw what's inside.

"I know it's not in the nature for turtles to be red."
Jin explained, misinterpreting Kame's expression.
"I-I chose this because of my lameness, I think..."
Jin nodded.
"Because... I thought... ah, it's red... and it's a turtle."
He mumbled.
"And, red from my last name, and Kame from yours. Therefore, AKA-KAME...."
He glanced at Kazuya.
"Ahhh, there's no pun intended, Kame-eh, Kazu, so don't be-"

"I like it."
He kissed Jin, shutting him up from mumbling non-sense.
"Thank you..."
He kissed him again, hugging the turtle. 

"You're welcome..."
Jin sighs in relieve.

"I didn't bring your present with me, though. Not knowing I would be here, spending the day with you."
He pouted.

"That's okay... because to me.. you are the gift."
He smiled.
"And it's a super gift when you agreed to come, and spend it with me and my family."

"Cheesy."
Kame chuckled, but give him a kiss.
"How about I give you something of mine?"

"What's that?"

Kame smiled and reached behind him for his brown plaid patterened scarf.
"Itai!"
He yelped and caress his back.

"Sorry..."
Jin gave a peck on his lips.
"It's bad for our firsts, especially yours when you're the one on top... It would be better if I'm on top, but it's fine if you top me, you know..."

Kame shook his head, chuckling.
"Doesn't matter. It'll hurt afterwards any way we do it, Jinjin."
He winked.
"Hai... I'll give this to you."
He thrust the item to Jin.

"Your scarf?"
Jin blinked.

"Dame?"
Kame asked.

"No... but... won't you get cold?"

"Umm... I thought you want me to spend the night here..."
Kame mumbled.

"Oh, I do! I do!!!"
Jin nodded frantically.
"What about tomorrow? You ran here with a shirt and only your scarf."
Jin frowned.

"Oh, I have my car parked around here somewhere."
Kame shook his head.
"Besides, you'll lend me your sweater, won't you?"

"Of course I would."
Jin kissed his lips.
"Anything for you."
He nodded.
"Thank you, Kazu-chan."

"You're welcome... I have lots of them at home anyway... but this one's the one I wear most."
He nodded, yawning a bit.

Jin looks at the scarf on his hand.
Very soft, warm, and... familiar...
Last night...
"Kazuya...?"

"Hmmm?"
He mumbled.

"You weren't... by any chance in Shibuya... right?"
Jin asked.
"Ah... you're asleep."
He shook his head.
"Maa... maybe I just miss you so much yesterday, ne..."
He pull Kame closer to him, and throws the blanket over them.
"Oyasumi... love."
He kissed the pouty lips and drifted off to sleep.





*** Ah, anou... is this okay???
Is long chappies okay?
so... some of the characters i didn't give out their name... and I bet minna-san knows, nee... i kinda made it obvious... *grins* (sumimasen deshta)
I hope minna-san like this chappie. I like it (am i allowed to say that?)
i'm still nervous though... looking at other fics, i admire other's works than mine better. 
and I enjoy beta-ing than writing... (i love both, but it makes me more doki doki on writing)
sooo, GAMBARIMASU!!!!!
gomen ne, I rant too much...

*runs away and hide